Organize the Wedding

[Lyn Holley]

There is a wedding at my mother’s house. I am trying to get things together for it, but no one is helping. My sister, Minnett, is there too. I am trying to set a table, but I don’t have what I need. My mother is going to go to town. I offer to make a list of what we need. My mother says to stop making a big deal of it. I yell, “Is being organized making a big deal of it?” Her face is between blank and perplexed.
Then I see tomato plants. They are beautiful. They are laden with heavy, bright red
Your thoughts? .

 

[PaulKH]

What would be far more interesting would be some emotions-and-personal-relevance-fueled speculations from you about this. How did the environment or the overall dream vibe *feel* during this dream? How front-and-center was the missed/stressed communication with your mother? Were the tomatoes perceived as a more distraction from the stress or somehow a consequence of it (the difference between this will mean a lot to you, based on the perceived interconnection)?

Speaking only from my own experience, I have had tons of these types of dreams that I consider exercise/training dreams. They evaluate small tidbits of truth or perspective, they give small lessons of "if you feel/act this way, then *this* is what is likely to happen"; they can even remind you of resonating truths you only *thought* you knew, but were solidified within you because of a dream. They might be small, but they are incredibly valuable and add up when viewed in the productive way we view meaningful exercise: as preparation for something greater. Consider this: if the dream realm drops a major, highly sophisticated and impactful dream upon someone who is unprepared or unopen to it, then the dreamer will add in negative feelings to it and taint any meaning (the message is only as good as the one receiving it, in essence), and wouldn't dreams also understand this?

I have grown (both informed and amused) from dreams like this, while taking certain lessons to heart. For example, about attitude-setting/emotional preparation when trying to actually have a positive/helpful impact on someone (especially in a stressful situation). And I swear to you, these many awareness-stimulating moments and adjustments on my part have opened my dreaming self to receive more epic and complex dreams, going so far as to tap into the higher emotions of (r)evolutionary progresses and enlightenment-inspired understandings--these thinking-perspectives would not have *nearly* the positive impact upon my life had I not dreamed them and been ready for those dreams (receptive and prepared to gain such value from them).

So in short, dreams *help* you grow, and grow much faster during your short life than you otherwise could, because you are feeling resonance and growing/becoming more thoughtful in your waking life, even as dreams are stimulating deeper learning within some of your sleeping time! How much you can handle and how fast you grow (your dream *aptitude*) is what is very individual/unique to your mental-emotional processes (which is a growable/trainable attribute) and how willing you are to gain increasing value from the dream insights-on-offer. And in that journey, I bid each of you a wondrous and satisfying experience!

 

[Lyn Holley]

After reading June Singer's book, Boundaries of the Soul, I realized more deeply that I have a huge mother complex. (She is gone now). How did I feel? Angry, frustrated, dismissed.
But it is interesting to think that similar occasions will arise in waking life and offer the opportunity to act in more life-giving ways. Someone will not like the way I am doing things and I can be curious rather than defensive.
The wedding motif in a dream is precious to me. For me denotes the sacred/royal marriage of transformation. No wonder I want to get it right and be organized!

 

[PaulKH]

That your sister was there is probably just a family-affirming moment in the dream, but can you remember any other reason why she might be there, and did it play any part on the dynamic between you and your mother? (Pseudo-reality/realism ring or perhaps in another non-real aspect that might hide some meaning for you?) I know from personal experience that we can dream in highly meaningful ways of those no longer with us, sometimes "ordinary" (as if anything in dreams should be treated as ordinary, heh) and sometimes emotionally jolting or mystifying--but without speculating on why or how they "visit" us in various ways, I *trust* it to be deeply meaningful and important to us (so we must make sure to dwell on them rather than dismissing them out of any kind of discomfort).

About the wedding: were you a participant who wanted to be the organizer, or was that firmly your family's responsibility? Any other details you can pull into the light about the setup of the wedding that might offer hints?

Also, consider how it is possible for some to harm an important-to-them event by their own exuberant drive to make it more special; the obvious example is of the hyper-organizer/controller who actually (often without seeing it themselves) distresses others who are merely there to soak in the goodness and enjoy more as a passive activity rather than an active one (note the vast difference in "enjoyment" as a passive vs an active event).

At any rate, thanks for sharing, and take this to heart: without a doubt, dreams can be both salve and solution to our healing-growing needs, and it seems likely that it is a part of their intended function.

 

[PaulKH]

But it is interesting to think that similar occasions will arise in waking life and offer the opportunity to act in more life-giving ways. Someone will not like the way I am doing things and I can be curious rather than defensive.

I'm not sure we can overstate this dream mechanic: how it can *force* us to see consequences/feelings that in real life we are able to suppress/avoid. This can be both a tool for learning-in-negative as well as expanding our perspective. Note when you dream of acting in a way you don't normally you do, you *still* add that experience to your personal pile for the sake of perspective/future evaluations. This is a vital tool for growing wisdom (positively applied perspective) if only we accept and use it as such, because we can gain perspectives far outside our own and yet still *use* them as our own!

 

[Lyn Holley]

Yes. That's a good point. Maybe I was driving people nuts with my overachieving
My sister had a lot of verve and taste. She would be one decorating for a wedding. She and my mother did not get along.
But she's pretty passive here. Just in the picture but not doing anything specific. I don't know whose wedding it was.

 

[PaulKH]

Yes. That's a good point. Maybe I was driving people nuts with my overachieving

The best way to avoid this is to always be sensitive/full of empathy toward what others are hoping to gain from such an event, and then you will better know the line you can walk between facilitator and disruptor. Dreams, when used to their full benefit, can evoke such deep considerations that have real-life growing ramifications. For those who don't pay attention and carefully consider them (these kinds of dreams like the one you describe), they are the essence of missed opportunity. I'm glad we can help each other/support each other as we consider the possibilities.

 

[Al1ce]

There is a wedding at my mother’s house. I am trying to get things together for it, but no one is helping. My sister, Minnett, is there too. I am trying to set a table, but I don’t have what I need. My mother is going to go to town. I offer to make a list of what we need. My mother says to stop making a big deal of it. I yell, “Is being organized making a big deal of it?” Her face is between blank and perplexed.
Then I see tomato plants. They are beautiful. They are laden with heavy, bright red
Your thoughts? .

I see tomatoes as blood, fertility, spiritual growth, and also transformation, the fact that they were ripe, I like to think our fruits are tasted by the gods, and they like them, and so they present them to you this way, now your fruits are in labor as you are about to give birth to something new, this could be a transformation as you stepped into the masculine aspect, standing firmly with your truth, and taking control of the situation, it is important to you because this unity of a marriage is of great value, the masculine and feminine may represent your own person marriage uniting within you.