Recurring dream about dead husband being alive

V

von

New member
Been having a recurring dream for several years now. Typically, I dream that my husband just shows up and acts as if nothing happened, that he was just away and that he hadn't died. I ask him what he's doing here, because he died, we had a funeral. He ignores me and acts like nothing is wrong and goes on as if he was never gone. We did have a challenging marriage.

This last dream was more disturbing than the others. I don't remember the whole thing, but he just showed up again and we were swimming, then we were at some event where we in balcony seats looking through windows at the event. I had changed and was dressed appropriately, he was still in his swim trunks and dripping wet. He looked grey and was leaning over me constantly dripping water on me. He didn't say anything. He just hovered over me. It just felt very oppressive and I felt like I couldn't move. There was more, but that is all I remember now.
 
aussie_musician

aussie_musician

Member
von said:
Been having a recurring dream for several years now. Typically, I dream that my husband just shows up and acts as if nothing happened, that he was just away and that he hadn't died. I ask him what he's doing here, because he died, we had a funeral. He ignores me and acts like nothing is wrong and goes on as if he was never gone. We did have a challenging marriage.

This last dream was more disturbing than the others. I don't remember the whole thing, but he just showed up again and we were swimming, then we were at some event where we in balcony seats looking through windows at the event. I had changed and was dressed appropriately, he was still in his swim trunks and dripping wet. He looked grey and was leaning over me constantly dripping water on me. He didn't say anything. He just hovered over me. It just felt very oppressive and I felt like I couldn't move. There was more, but that is all I remember now.
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Hello Von, welcome.
Was your husband the same, when you met him, and that of during marriage?
Or did your husband's behaviour change while you were married to him?
 
V

von

New member
His behavior did change from when I met him. It started to change about 2 years after we got married, shortly after we had our first child.
 
J

jeff

New member
I used to have dreams about an ex girlfriend where she refused to talk to me or acknowledge me. For years it would hurt me in my dreams. She died a few years back and now when she shows up in my dreams she talks to me and and is pleasant but not like we are dating.
I think there is something going on inside my head where I am finally able to let the rejection go because she is dead and I mourned the loss. or something like that.
 
V

von

New member
aussie_musician said:
Do you think having a child was a trigger for the change of behaviour or was his change of behaviour not related to having a child?
Did you ever say anything to your husband about his change of behaviour?
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In part. I did mention the behavior change, but he denied it.
 
V

von

New member
No. I was young and didn't have much of a support system. We fought about it. He threatened to take my son if I ever attempted to leave and that was basically the end of it. We never discussed it again.
 
aussie_musician

aussie_musician

Member
von said:
No. I was young and didn't have much of a support system. We fought about it. He threatened to take my son if I ever attempted to leave and that was basically the end of it. We never discussed it again.
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Do you reckon that it's a fair assessment, according to what you have shared, that your husband was a narcissist?
 
V

von

New member
I hesitate to call him a narcissist, but he did have narcissistic tendencies, if that makes sense.
 
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