vainillasoup34
New member
Today I had a dream where I was a chile again. I was in the therapy room of my childhood, and the therapist in front of me was the therapist I had when I was 16. She asked me if I had something dark to tell. I said "My mom doesn't allow me to tell certain things", and she said "If an adult tell you to kept a secret that hurta, you should tell it".
In real life, when I was a child, my family used to tell me to not tell certain things to the therapist. I wasn't really abused as a child nor my family did anything illegal like drugs, it was just certain details: for example, when I was a child, my mom was loveful and nice but also strict and emotionally unstable; anytime I didn't passed an exam, she got mad; it was so common and intense that my family had to hide brooms, metal bars and wood planks out of fear that my mom wouldn't hurt me. Because I was told by my family to not tell certain things like that, I only told my therapist things like things I did or want to do, or stupid things I did. And also my mom was kinda confused or angry during my childhood or teenage years for "Why don't you progress in your therapy? You're wasting our money!" And also, they told me what things I was "morally mandated" to tell my therapist: That I was not good at school, that I was annoying, unpolite (according their standards), so quiet, shy, and that I didn't passed when I went to the occulist (I currently wear glasses, and during my childhood and preteens, when I didn't passed a test in the occulist, my mom scolded me).
In the dream, I just was silent to my therapist, with a plain face and with anxiety or angst. When I exited, it was my mom waiting for me and we went walking by the streets. She had a blurred or incoherent speech, even saying just random syllabes, and she didn't remember many things I asked to her. I felt very sad or scared in my dream.
In real life, when I was a child, my family used to tell me to not tell certain things to the therapist. I wasn't really abused as a child nor my family did anything illegal like drugs, it was just certain details: for example, when I was a child, my mom was loveful and nice but also strict and emotionally unstable; anytime I didn't passed an exam, she got mad; it was so common and intense that my family had to hide brooms, metal bars and wood planks out of fear that my mom wouldn't hurt me. Because I was told by my family to not tell certain things like that, I only told my therapist things like things I did or want to do, or stupid things I did. And also my mom was kinda confused or angry during my childhood or teenage years for "Why don't you progress in your therapy? You're wasting our money!" And also, they told me what things I was "morally mandated" to tell my therapist: That I was not good at school, that I was annoying, unpolite (according their standards), so quiet, shy, and that I didn't passed when I went to the occulist (I currently wear glasses, and during my childhood and preteens, when I didn't passed a test in the occulist, my mom scolded me).
In the dream, I just was silent to my therapist, with a plain face and with anxiety or angst. When I exited, it was my mom waiting for me and we went walking by the streets. She had a blurred or incoherent speech, even saying just random syllabes, and she didn't remember many things I asked to her. I felt very sad or scared in my dream.
Last edited: