Dream with Lots of Layers


New member
A little backstory first:

When I was a freshman in 2011, my best friends mom took her life. She was like a mom to me and it was very painful. I think of her often but don’t dream about her like I did when she first passed. I don’t talk to her daughter much anymore, but we are on good terms. She has a beautiful daughter now and is doing well for herself.

In September 2021, an ex of mine took his life in front of his former girlfriend. He was a big part of my life even though I have moved on and am in a great long-term relationship. I will always love him and have become great friends with his former girlfriend who I had never met prior to the funeral. We always joke that he’s probably shaking his head at us. I rarely dream of him.

My best friends mom and my ex never met. I didn’t meet him until several years after she passed.

Last night, I had a dream that I was going to meet my current boyfriend for dinner. As I walked in, my high school best friend, her mom (again, passed in 2011), step dad, and daughter were walking in. My best friend and I were both crying and I could sense someone we loved had passed. Her mom insisted I sit and eat with them but for some reason, I couldn’t get in the booth. It was too high up. I turned around and my ex is sitting there. I could tell he was also upset about the same thing, so I sat across from him. As he was looking at the menu, I grabbed his hand and he wrapped his fingers around mine. I can literally still feel it. He was never an affectionate person.

My boyfriend then walked in and sat with us. He took out a wrapped box and I thought he was going to propose. When I opened it, it was a necklace that said something about hugging those you love. I woke up after that.

Throughout the rest of the night, I had several dreams with my ex in it. Again, I rarely dream about him. One in particular, my mom was driving me to his house. I was planning to meet his former girlfriend there to see if we could communicate with him (her and I both refuse to even drive by his house because it’s too painful). On the way there, my mom got a call that she has ovarian cancer (she has a history of breast cancer). Then I woke up.

Maybe I’m reading too much into this. I just feel like there’s so many different layers and I can’t stop thinking about it. Any help would be appreciated.