Hard dream about my mother.

[GettingTired]

I guess I’m posting this here because I don’t really have anyone to talk to about all this. I know typically when you talk about a relationship you think romantic but, I had a really hard dream about my mom. I feel guilty and angry at the same time. In the dream she had me pinned down and was yelling at me (things I couldn’t really hear), I yelled back that she was acting like her mother and she got so angry, I had to yell at her repeatedly to look at what she was doing to me and how she was hurting me. When she finally let me up she was crying, I just stood up and started walking away, she fell to her knees crying and calling out to me. I started crying and hesitated but then changed my face to one of determination or anger and continued walking away. That was the whole dream, I’ve been having dreams like this since she went too far a couple of years ago (growing up she always got physical but never to the point where I felt like I wouldn’t make it if I didn’t fight for my life). I’m so mad at her but at the same time I feel so much guilt because she never let anyone else hurt me, she taught me how to be strong with others… as long as I wasn’t strong with her. These dreams and the dreams she’s in where I’m being dragged into darkness or turning into the monster are driving me crazy. I know that the things she’s done to me are wrong but I don’t know how to leave her behind like I did in the dream. I still love her but I also hate that I do. Honestly I don’t even want to sleep anymore because she’s almost always there and I can’t remember the last time I had a neutral or good dream. And I’m terrified that by using anger to keep her distanced from me I’m slowly turning into her.

 

[James]

I would ease up on yourself and ease up on your mother.

This world is very hard on people in a lot of different ways. But its good that you can find some good in your mother to help balance out some of the bad. In dreams, daughters are an image (=symbols) of the mother, just the sons are images of the father. Some are a closer fit than others and some don't seem to fit at all to that idea. So in place of anger, you might think of disappointment, about your mother to ease your pain. Its part of maturing to find healthy ways to get past painful experiences. But there is a larger picture here that you are being asked to grasp to make yourself whole again.

Its not unlike trying to help your mother in order to help yourself. You can do it, just need to focus on the goal - you and your mother's well-being - when you are ready. But right now, the world might seem to be against you - so rise up when you feel ready!

Hope you are able to sleep better. You seem to be the warrior/soldier type, so I would not expect you to fail in situations like this. Your credentials speak for themselves, since you have taken on trying to help another warrior/soldier who is worthy of assistance (=your mother).

Take care and best wishes.

 

[Arnfinnius]

The dream seems to be about old familial patterns, were the dominant person(your mother) surpress the minor to keep up control. The reminder that " you gets more and more like your mother" is shouting forward just that, the troubles is that to experience vulnerability abused without taken protection in aggression which leads this situation to pass into next generation. You becomes like her like she bcame like her mother etc...
If you are able to feel all the anger and the pain it causes without identifying with it, just accept the pain, this painful familial pattern will end with you, and the energy that is bound with it , can flourish in new ways.
The basic problem with the anger in this situation is that your mother pinned you down with anger, when you respond with anger , the anger has taken over control, therefor you see your mother falling to her knees crying, that was the feelings she could not accept and brought forward aggression to you , so you were kept in that emotional state instead, when you identify with being angry, this system is forwarded. The difference between you is eliminated when not even you as her bfore you is able to be embracing the wounded child with love.
Your dream is so archetypical and valid for us all, I hope both you and me and all will one day be lovable in this field of human life, so we can grow some joy were sadness lives.

Best wishes Arnfinnius

 

[James]

Symbols

I can’t remember the last time I had a neutral or good dream: hope you are able to sleep well after reconciling with memories of your mother

 

[dreammastertom]

Forgive yourself, forgive your mother. The dream is your subconscious bringing forth what is upsetting you. Preace comes from forgiveness.