Intense dreams and crows.

kagi

New member
Hi all,

I am new to this site, this was the first forum I found about dream translation so I believe it must be the correct one. I had a weird 4-part dream at night, then another dream, and later today I had meeting with crows at day time (not in dream). I believe those must be some signs... just how to interpret them?

I am male, soon will celebrate my 37th birthday. I am married, two daughters (one of them born 7 weeks ago, another will turn 6 years old soon). My marriage is having difficult times, I have had an affairs, my wife knows about them, and we are still not really sure if we can or if we must stay together. We try to work on our marriage, but so far not very successfully. Professionally I work as a manager, more than 16 years for the same company. Overall I feel good in work, but I want to achieve more. I have thought about starting a business, but I have not found that kind of idea that would captivate (not sure if correct word, English is not my native language) me very much to start a journey as an entrepreneur. 3 months ago I saw an opportunity that in addition of my direct duties, I can earn company extra money, so I pitched this idea to company's owner. He was interested and actually offered that we could split earnings 50/50. So last months I have worked on weekends, on later hours, generating extra profit for company (in 3 months more than 2 years of my salary in net profit). However, I am not sure I will get what owner promised I would. He is not my direct manager, so I am afraid, that if Top Management finds out about this, they would fight to avoid giving any extra money for me. I am a bit afraid to re-ask company owner, when and how he would transfer earned money. Some part of me says, if owner will not pay, I will leave this job. It is well paid, but I have some savings, I must be fine for some time... but from other side I sometimes doubt my skills, I have low self-esteem which I have tried to improve (and actually have improved in past years with help of psychotherapy sessions), but, yes, still there are some doubts. Also affairs happened mostly because of trying to find another ways to prove my worth as my sexual desires are much higher than my wife's, and I felt not appreciated.

So that's where I am - in a middle of some very important decisions in life, to divorce or not to divorce (and I am much more worried about my daughters, not me and wife), and also professionally, keep working or try to find a new path in life.

About a week ago I had a dream from which I remembered only this part.
" I was in a beach together with a Spanish girl with black hair (I don't remember if I met her there or we went together. I am from North Europe, so I don't know how I knew she was Spanish). She had red sore eyes! Then we went "hand in hand" somewhere and we found ourselves in some sandy field between three highways with heavy traffic. Highways were from all sides (but different height), like creating triangle square in the middle were we were located. We started to make love right in that place."

And that's all I remembered from that dream. Few days ago my older daughter brought home from kinder garden conjunctivitis, so last couple if days I also have red, sore eyes myself (and my wife as well). One of these last days there was crow flying close to me and crowing, I didn't count how many times, but that seemed weird.

Last night I had this dream...
Part 1: I was in a meeting with my colleagues. It had to be small meeting with only few colleagues, but then there joined more and more colleagues. I was leading this meeting, so everyone waited on me, when I will open report and tell them news from graphs. I felt in control. I shared my screen and I tried to type in a browser "power bi", but I couldn't do that. Instead of that I started to type some porn site or dating site addresses in front of all my colleagues. But I never typed more than 2-3 letters on that address, I saw that I have typed wrong, and quickly deleted and tried again. I was afraid that I have had some browsing history left and someone could see that I type porn site or adult dating site address. So I felt some shame inside me, but I was the only one who understood what I am typing. Then I understood, that I cannot type this, and then everyone just left, as meeting was over. When I looked around, I was located in my grandparent's house. So that meeting took part there (at least in the end...). But just rooms were like expanded, but I knew I am there.

Part 2: Then on the same location, my grandparent's house, many relatives showed up. It was some kind of family gathering. I remember my godfather sitting next to me, he gave me a hand (in real life we have become alienated in last years). There were also other relatives. And then something strange started to happen, people seemed worried about my father. He was sitting in corner and his face was turning into blue color. As I understood he had a stroke. He was still like sitting, trying to smile, but completely out of this world. I started to scream if anyone has called ambulance. At first nobody answered. Then I gave more direct question: "who exactly have called an Ambulance?" Then finally one of my relatives told that she had called ambulance and I calmed down.
 

kagi

New member
Part 3: Then I somehow understood that I am dreaming. I was no more at grandparent's house. So I wanted to enjoy my time in dream. At first I was crashing through some walls (painted with graffiti). Then I flied around trying to find out something to do in a dream. Environment looked not really natural, more like in video game (like Fortnite). I saw FBI buses and cars on ground and I thought it would be fun to try to help FBI in some case. I went to them. Then we were in some kind of house, but it looked that many of FBI are sexy girls who wanted to spend time with me, I run together with them to upper floors and there I found another girl, raised her skirts and started an intercourse from behind. But then I saw that she was actually very very tiny. Her ass was so small compared to my penis size. Anyway I continued what I was doing and then I heard voice in my head. That was my wife's voice. Voice told me that I am asleep in in the hallway in my grandparent's house, that she and my elder daughter is going to go home soon, an she asked if I will come too. At that moment, I was still banging that small ass, so now I again understood that it's a dream, and I was worried, if I am not banging something at may grandparent's house actually (like doing the same movements, but with clothes or smth. like that). Then I thought I woke up.

Part 4: I woke up, but that was not in grandparent's house anymore. I was in a tiny apartment and there was standing my ex (we broke our relationships about 7 years ago) with some girl about the same age as my daughter now (we didn't have kids together). My ex had pale skin, very much overweight, she had scary scars on her body and she was shaking. The girl that was standing besides here was in blue clothes and seemed weak and completely silent. I looked at them few moments and then crazy thought run through my brain - that actually this is reality and all the rest was dream. That actually I live with my ex and we have this child who seems weak and completely silent. While I was looking at them, my ex kind a changed location without moving (forgot that word). She suddenly appeared few feet closer, with different color hair (light purple) and her hair were completely messy (not like few seconds ago). She was shaking, she looked like a zombie. I picked up what I thought was my daughter, told her I love her. And my ex still shaking went to the bed. Bed was single bed located in middle of room apart from others (I had a feeling that there are beds for me and daughter on the other side of room, but I don't remember seeing them). Then I understood it was just a dream.

I woke up at night and I sat a bit, trying to understand what I just saw. How could I imagine that my real life is like that life, and what if maybe this life also is a dream. (Okei, yesterday when I went to sleep I listened to one of Alan Watts speeches. I have more Eastern thinking about mythology etc...)

Another dream the same night...
So I had another dream after I went sleeping again. I was in some kind of school, but looks like this school was in the old castle. There was also my elder daughter. We played that game (I don't know name of that game), that I try to run away and she tries to catch me, and opposite, when she catches me. So I think we played a bit and then I went outside that castle to swim. Water was very light blue, it was late night. I swam, and then I saw that there is actually snow outside, how can I swim? I must skate. Then I skated (don't know if on water if there was already ice). And then picture like changed, I saw that my elder daughter tried to cross some narrow water with my wife's help, but I knew if they would put their step not straight, but on any side, there must be very deep, so I was concerned about my daughter's life, but everything ended well as I remember.

And then today I was in a kitchen with my younger daughter. A crow landed on our kitchen windowsill outside. And she knocked to window with a beak. I went closer to window, looked at her, she looked at me and then flew away to the small tree a little further away. She caw while flying I think. Then a little later today, I was outside the house. 3 crows flied in front of me, landed on high tree besides our house and one of them cawed 3 times.

I don't know, how to translate this. I even don't know where to start. I kind a believe that we are all connected, and that kind of signs and dreams actually mean something. I called my father today, he is fine...

And sorry for language... must be some mistakes. :)
 

kagi

New member
I tried to translate my dream using one of methods (Jungian maybe). Looks actually pretty well. I just don't understand transition from Part 3 to Part 4. Will Part 4 happen if I try to act and achieve my dreams (alternative: stay in safety) or those are my fears that it might happen like that? Or Part 4 will happen if I don't act? How to understand this? That last dream kind a helped me to understand, that I am not alone in this journey.


dream translating.JPG
 

kagi

New member
And regarding my dream about Spanish girl, I also found an answer. I must find time and space, to enjoy pleasure and relax. All the other stuff in life will still run their own way, I must find time for myself.

So, now have to understand how crows in real life are related to all this...
 

StJoseph

New member
I hope you can work out the marriage with your wife, for you and her but also your children who will benefit from that relationship. I think a lot of your dream has to do with your personal desire for pleasure not just in sex, but in finding time for yourself. You also want to be appreciated and loved and the one area that you are smart and adequate, you now have anxiety because of the issue with money. Lean on your wife for support even if she cannot give you physical pleasure whenever you want it. Sex has become an addiction and it is also a cause for anxiety as your dreams show - you think people at work will find out and you are worried what your grandparents would think. Take this addiction seriously because your family needs you as a father. What good is a promotion without a family? I don't think crows have anything to do with this since they aren't showing up in the dream.
 
What was it that attracted you, to your now wife?
I'm no counsellor or even a psychologist, however, i would like to ask, do you like reading?
Unless you have done so, or unless you already know about them, i recommend you, and your wife read The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman.
And, also get a copy of Wild At Heart and Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge.
Although i don't know you and i your wife, i'm pretty sure getting a divorce is not the answer.
 

Ector

New member
In the first dream, the unknown Spanish girl is characterized by the sea and red eyes. I will not talk about the sea as that would force me to repeat clichés or go down an archetypical drain. But, - if this was my dream -, what I would do is ask, ”what do sore eyes mean?” My association goes to crying and salt water (ocean). So for me, she is the ”other” and something at this stage is not good for her; perhaps she has ”cried her eyes out”. (I would like to suggest writing down what you associate with Spain, to get a feel for the figure.) It is very nice of the dream ego to go hand in hand with her as this girl may represent the Eros function and seems to be in need.

But the dreamer does not comfort this apparently vulnerable part of himself, but finds himself in the middle of three highways, probably representing the outer life’s ambitions, stress, and lack of relatedness. Here the eroticism takes overhand. As it is moreover at ”some sandy field”, it seems to be suggested that it is an infertile way of connecting. For me, this seems to be the crux of the matter. We, males, have a tendency to confuse sex with Eros or relation or even love; eroticism is a way to relate, which may be adequate at some time, but not in other times (or periods of our lives). The girl from the sea with sore eyes perhaps needed something else to heal.

In dreams, our dream ego, with the dream’s symbolic expression, often acts as our ego habitually acts in real life. So one could always ask oneself, in what way am I acting so-and-so in my everyday life, or how does this behaviour in a dream reflect my conscious attitude.

In regards to conjunctivitis, that you mentioned, that seems to be the phenomenon of synchronicity; i.e., where unconscious dynamics appear in outer life. A similar thing may be the case with the crow.

The other dream starts in a work situation. A dream typically starts off with a scene that describes the problem it will illustrate. One could assume that the dreamer in his everyday life values work and professional appearance quite high, which naturally means that other parts of everyday life become undervalued. If so, the dream seems to react to this certain habit of the ego, as the dream is challenging the dreamer.

Typical for us who may be successful at work, but have low self-esteem, is that we are afraid of being exposed as frauds. This dynamic often leads to nightmares where we for instance go blank doing a test or presentation, can’t find the classroom and whatnot.

Here the dreamer is involuntarily exposing his interest in quick sex and porn; a let’s say ”dirty” ambition that probably is in conflict with the professional persona. One could say, that ”dark” energy within himself gets in the way of the ”light” ambitions, and maybe the crow tries to draw attention to those qualities and confront them, so to speak.

”Everyone left” could mean that one part of the dreamer doesn’t want anything to do with the other – they are incompatible. There may be compartmentalization going on that is not fruitful.

Then there is a change of setting. When that happens in a dream, one can think in the following way: ”Because of this, that follow”, or ”this happens because of that”. This connects the seemingly random scenes into a story – and dreams tell stories.

So the second scene may describe the foundation of the problem in the first scene. The second scene is focused on ”fathers”. So one could assume that ”the problem” could be traced to ”the fathers”, but that is not entirely true, I think, or at least it is more complicated than that. Because, just as the Spanish girl in the first dream – in my vision of the scene – lends the dreamer her hand (which I see as, considering the eyes, asking for comfort), the Godfather lends the dreamer his hand in this.

For me, these are very positive signs in all these troubles. Both the Eros figure and the Father figure are there for the dreamer; these important dream figures are offering companionship. They are there for him. Now it is up to the dreamer to respond. In these dreams, on the one hand, the dreamer ends up banging the Spanish girl in a pointless fashion, in the middle of everyday stress; on the other hand, his father is getting a stroke. For me, the dreamer has it – so to speak – within grasp, but the attitude and habits of the ego shun those invitations.

If this was my dream, I would spend some quiet time contemplating and associating around ”grandparents’ house”, ”godfather”, ”father”, and so on, to tune into these symbols. Are the current problems connected to for instance upbringing, perceived expectations, and so forth?

I write ”fathers” and so forth, with quotation marks, to underscore that we are talking about symbols, dynamics, and so on, not necessarily actual persons in the dreamer’s life. This seems to be ”the father’s” house.

But wait. One is calling the ambulance. And it is a woman. So women in these dreams seem to represent the dreamer’s Eros function, the function – for lack of better words – that is able to actually relate to other people. That has nothing to do with affairs or pornography, obviously. It is about real relations (at least, ”if it was my dream”). The Eros function is the one that actually saves dad. The fact that this is available, is another positive sign in this mess.

Unfortunately, after this scene with the fathers, the dreamer seems to regress into a childish state. Which would not be untypical, as we in this day and age have little support in growing into adults. Lucid dreaming where you can be a superhero, flying, which means leaving everyday life, being a hero helping the FBI out (how cool wouldn’t that be!), and so on.

This childish state then leads to eroticism, the habitual thinking of the dreamer, as we have seen. Being a husband is much more demanding and frightful, especially when the kids are starting to appear, as it were, than running around bars or settling for the screen. Working on the relationship with a real-life wife when the projections have been withdrawn and the children are screaming, and let’s say the Eros of it all, is obviously a thousand times harder than a one-night stand. How many of us – men and women alike – have not at least played with the thought of just running out of the house and flying away in a lucid dream?

So the ”lucid” dreamer finds himself with a willing girl, who turns out to be very little; which he notices while taking her from behind. Nothing wrong with this certain position, it has its merits, but as dreams talk in symbols, we can notice that when a man takes a woman from behind, there is no relation between the lovers. So the symbol may express the fact that the dreamer’s sexuality is not super mature, and the eroticism as a replacement for relatedness may not be very adequate; especially when the dreamer has sexual intercourse with a girl that is ”very, very tiny”, which of course emphasize the immaturity of it all.

So yes, part 4. It’s time to wake up, the dream says. When we have a dream where we wake up, still in the dream, according to ”the literature”, but in my own experience as well, there is something of particular importance and convoluted dynamics going on.

Now the dreamer is in a tiny apartment. That could be understood, which Jungian lingo, ”in a certain complex”. The dreamer's ex-girlfriend is there, with their daughter. (Obviously, I don’t know if they have a daughter, but I will assume not, speaking about dream images rather than the dreamer, thankfully.)

There are a few things sticking out here: The Ex has a lot of scars, she is shaking, and her clothes are blue. If I was the dreamer, I would make connections. The ex seems to be a companion figure to the Spanish girl. Her shaking may indicate that she has been in the ocean, and the blue clothes may hint at the sea as well. But also note that the dying father was blue earlier. So the ex seems to be bound up, so to speak, earlier dynamics within herself as a dream symbol. The scars correspond to the soreness of the Spanish girl.

If this was my dream I would feel into what the ex meant to me. And how is that related to the troubles right now – with the career, family life, pornography, getting laid, all that stuff. What does she represent? While reading and contemplating this dream, as a guy who knows nothing of the dreamer and nothing of the dream, I get a feeling that the ex somehow is a representation of the dreamer’s Eros (or whatever we should call it).

The fact that she is scarred, I would think if this was my dream, is that she – or what she represents – has been tormented by the ego, in short. ”What am I doing", I would think, "that makes her scarred? Even making her a zombie?” Is there anything that symbolizes a lack of Eros – or whatever you prefer to call it – like the image of a zombie?

Assuming she is an image of Eros, not as a real-life person but as a symbol, why should she not be a zombie? The Spanish girl with sore eyes, the tiny girl in the superhero fantasy, to avoid what the dreamer has shared regarding real-life… If this symbol is representing Eros, surely she would be scarred.

The dream ends with the dreamer picking up his daughter and telling her he loves her, which is another positive takeaway. My association is that the dreamer, once again, has access to his Eros function. There is a question of beds, and so forth… Can’t get everything to work at this point in time, but I feel from reading this dream, that the potential is there, without a doubt.

The last dream seems to confirm this. I have written too much, and will not elaborate, but there is a school, a castle, where the dreamer may learn and progress. In that dream, there is his daughter, which may mean that the lessons are about Eros in everyday life. There is ice, yes, something frozen – obviously – but for now, just skate over it, go forward (with the lessons learned) and everything will be all right.
 
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