Unsettling dream about myself? (Post-bereavement)


New member

I'm new here and just joined because I need to talk about a dream I had last night that upset me a fair bit. (For context, before I start: my sister died 10 years ago, and my mother is alive and well, and my grandmother, not in the dream, died less than a month ago).

It starts in a church or a cathedral. Myself and my family are sat all the way up to the front, but far to the side (and the side leads, oddly, into some kind of glitzy shopping mall). I think perhaps we're here because of my grandmother's passing, though she didn't want a church service. All of a sudden, the priest, a very tall, dark-haired woman, starts shrieking and her shriek turns into a loud melodic hum. I think she's trying to get our attention because we haven't been listening to her, but it turns out to be the start of some kind of ritual dance. People rush to dance and hug in front of the altar, and I'm physically dragged into the crowd, clueless. I hug a few strangers, then my mother, gleaming, grabs me by the arm and we start dancing. She tells me: "it's OK now, you can stop, with the fits". I am confused: "with the fits? What fits? Have I lost time?". She says in French "non, tu fixes", and I don't know if it means I'm fixating on things or that I just stare at things during fits of some sorts. As it turns out, I find myself staring at a sparkly pink candelabra shop in the aisle seconds later, unable to look anywhere else. My cousins are talking about hiring a van for a holiday. The conversation with my mother continues in my head: "I really can't take it anymore, is what it is, and you all know it. Is that why God has decided to give me my sister back?"

Suddenly I'm in a rush to go retrieve my luggage and my sister's from a language-school hotel where we'd been staying. We're in the van, and she's right behind my back. We arrive at the hotel car park. There's lots of cars with luggage being loaded, and lots of suitcases just chucked on the ground. I spot my suitcase on the ground, empty, and she spots her bag in a car, stuffed, though I know things of hers are missing too. I grab both, and walk to the gate. She's still right behind me. A hotel staff person tells me the place is being refurbished and we're not supposed to get in, we weren't supposed to come back. But I want in to retrieve our things, so I make my way, with others, past the railings. We navigate up the drive a bit like in a video-game... dodging holes, pools, wires... the staff are actually cheering for us. It gets increasingly, incredibly dangerous and scary. Then we climb a big slope on the side, and hear a crying baby. We find a crevice on the other side, with what appears to be a pool of blood at the bottom. For some reason, we all assume this couple we know, with a baby, has fallen and died. The baby is crying and nowhere to be seen. The pool of blood looks increasingly like a broken egg, with some blood mixed into the white and the yolk. It's beginning to get washed away by a tide.

At that point I say to myself "no", turn around to look at the hotel, and start dashing towards the reception, where I intend to make a big fuss about our missing belongings.

That's it. It woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep. I've had a few dreams with my sister in them before and they were absolutely tender - I felt so peaceful and loved. But this dream wasn't like that. I almost put in the "nightmare" section, but it wasn't that either. Also, I almost never remember my dreams, so for me to come and write it down hours later means it was extremely vivid.

I don't know why it's bothering me so and weighing so heavy this morning... I would love to hear your thoughts.


Active member
This dream reflects your journey through grief and the complex process of healing after losing loved ones.
  • The setting of a church transitioning to a glitzy mall symbolizes the contrast between mourning and the ongoing flow of life.
  • The ritual dance led by the priestess signifies transformation and the communal aspect of healing, where shared joy and sorrow coexist.
  • Being told "it's OK now, you can stop" by your mother in the dream suggests a message from your subconscious to allow yourself to move beyond fixed patterns of grief or fixation on the past.
  • The journey to retrieve luggage with your sister represents the emotional baggage you carry, the memories, and the sense of loss.
  • The chaotic, dangerous path and the final scene with the pool of blood turning into a broken egg washed away by the tide symbolize the messy, painful, yet natural cycle of life and rebirth.
  • Your sister's presence signifies the enduring bond and love that remains despite her physical absence.
This dream is not just about loss but also about the resilience required to face life's challenges, the ongoing presence of loved ones in our memories, and the possibility of new beginnings even amidst grief. It encourages you to acknowledge your feelings, embrace the support of those around you, and find strength in the knowledge that renewal follows loss.

You will soon find a moment of unexpected joy or a new beginning that brings light to your healing path. This could manifest as a newfound hobby, a rekindled relationship, or a surprising opportunity that aligns with your interests and brings you peace. This moment will remind you that even in the midst of loss and transition, life offers sparks of happiness and paths toward renewal, echoing the transition from the dark, chaotic scenes to the clarity and action of seeking what is yours in the dream.

Keep your heart open to these possibilities, as they will offer you comfort and a tangible sign that you are moving forward on your healing journey.


New member
Thank you, dreammerchant. I hadn't thought about it that way, and it doesn't help I was mesmerized by the architecture of the cathedral and the hotel (I don't think I've ever had a dream with a boring building in it)... but refocusing my attention on the rest, it makes a lot of sense.